You have pushed every single friendship to its limits without compassion or loyalty. The problem has become so serious because those loving you cannot take anymore emotional abuse or lies.
Does this sound like a familiar situation? Do you know people who are quickly running out of friends they can turn to in times of need? If so, you’re not alone.
More and more people are suffering from depression than ever before. Depression, if left untreated can become somewhat of a tragedy. Almost everything; from lack of self-confidence to varying forms of abuse can cause it and anyone can get it! Depression can cause good-hearted people to do the most hurtful things to the people who love them the most. It takes masses of patience and self-control to continue helping a depressed relative or friend. A HUGE well done to anyone doing this right now.
The question many ask themselves is, ‘How long can I keep doing this?’.
It’s not a selfish question to ask so don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re asking yourself this because you’re tired and emotionally drained from possibly years of loyalty and devotion to helping your depressed relative or friend. It’s only natural feeling this way. If the depressed person has become so self-absorbed that they constantly show disregard for you and the help offered to them, they may risk losing the very ones giving them any sense of hope or normality. I call this the biting point.
The biting point has led families to throw out sons, daughters and friends for the need of saving their own sanity. This would have been a difficult decision to make and would not have been done lightly. It comes down to the illustration of jumping into the sea to save someone drowning, but you yourself can’t swim. Now there are two people drowning and the situation is worse than before. Better is it to get help for the victim from someone who has the ability to really accomplish a positive result. If the victim refuses the help what do you do? Of course this is where the drowning scenario loses its weight because depression is a mental, more complex issue.
Do you force them into help? Possibly, if their at risk to their own lives. But how far, is too far? Everyone has a breaking point which will determine the answer to that question. If you are still able to cope, then, you have not reached it yet. That is when tough decisions will have to be made and changes in life start to really happen.
After an ordeal like that, you yourself may need counselling and other various forms of help to rebalance the life you gave away to help the one you love. I say that in the present simple tense because although tough decisions may have been made, you will always love them.
Tears will come and go, that you can be sure of. How do you survive this change? Surround yourself with good encouraging friends, throw out any negative influences, and find something in life which gives you hope and purpose, leaving you feeling happier and more fulfilled.
Meatballs with Apple and Barolo Wine Recipe
300 g Minced Lamb
1 Grated Apple
½ Cup Barolo Wine (Any full-bodied red will do – Malbec, Syrah)
2 Egg Yolks
50 g Butter
30 g Sugar
Salt and Pepper
In a bowl mix the mince, apple, egg yolks, salt and pepper together (preferably with your hands).
Divide mixture and make in to many small/medium size meatballs (slightly smaller than a golf ball).
Dust flour over them and fry in a pan with the melted butter until firm.
Dissolve the sugar into the wine and then add to the pan of meatballs. Add a lid and cook for a further 12-15 minutes on a low to medium heat.
You can add them to your favourite sauce or over a plate of pasta. Or enjoy on next to a side salad with a glass of red wine.
Cooking is a great way to relax and forget your troubles. It’s also a great way to spend time with family members. Great memories are made in a kitchen so roll up your sleeves and get cooking. If you need any inspiration then download my eBook, Nigro’s Kitchen and enjoy many recipes along with a story about how food strengthens family units.
Take care x