Many people are confused when it comes to love due to a lack of education. Love is not always ‘EROS’; the romantic kind of love. But love can be ‘AGAPE’ which is based on principles. Both are needed in a marriage. But, love based on principles is what will strengthen a marriage and help it to endure the test of time.
As a word of caution; youngsters watching pornography will grow up to view the opposite sex as inferior and many bad habits can form in their mind in relation to how to treat members of the opposite sex. Pornography will not teach you to love another person. So, for any parents out there, or singletons, do not rely on this to teach you anything worthwhile.
Rather, let us consider seven ways to really show someone you love them. Actions speak louder than words, so make sure you back up your ‘I love you’ with evidence.
Kindness will allow love to blossom within a marriage. Looking for the good in each other will draw you closer together. If all we constantly pick up on the little things which irritate us, sooner or later, the relationship will break down. Kindness overlooks our little imperfections and lays down a solid foundation on which love can grow.
Kindness will help us to be approachable. Why is this important? Think about it for a moment. You have a problem, or something bothering you which you need to talk about. If you are a kind person, then communication will be easy for you both and the problem could be ironed out within the marriage. A lack of kindness on our part could cause our marriage mate to look elsewhere for comfort and relief which could end up being another person (big mistake).
This article will focus on maintaining patience before promising to love each other in marriage. Why is this important to a successful marriage?
If we take our time to really get to know the other person, a more accurate picture of them comes to mind. For example; how does he/she treat their mother, father or siblings? How do they view your views? What direction in life do they want to head in? Allowing time to answer these questions will give you a good idea on how they will treat you and whether you are compatible.
If, on the other hand, you rush into your relationship based on looks or infatuation, important aspects could be missed, leaving heartache and misery at the end of it all.
Take your time to get it right as best you can, by eliminating as many risk factors as possible.
In this day and age cheating has become the norm making it hard to feel secure in a marriage. So, when we demonstrate loyalty in all aspects of our lives, and we patiently allow the other time to prove their worth, we can find security in love.
Loyalty is closely related to the word ‘faithfulness’. If you asked a thousand men and women ‘what would be the most desirable quality in a mate?’, I can guarantee faithfulness (or loyalty) will be in the top five!
Loyalty is shown when the other mate makes us feel wanted and needed. If both show this, it can only bring joy and security into our marriage. Love needs loyalty to stand the test of time.
One of the hardest words to say is ‘sorry’. We have pride and so it hurts to say ‘sorry’ at times. We could have done nothing wrong and so an apology seems pointless. True love will pursue peace at all costs! Apologising to keep peace despite no wrongdoing does wonders for a marriage. If both apply this wonderful quality then it would certainly resolve a heap of heartache.
Pride can destroy a marriage and any relationship for that matter.
If pride is the destroyer, then humility is the builder!
Build, build, build!!!!
Just because love is listed in fifth, by no means is it of little importance. It is by far the most important. I just wanted to warm you up before getting to this.
Love is the glue which holds a marriage together. There is no stronger force to bind or unite two people together (or a family for that matter).
Love grows with time. As a husband and wife stay together through good times and bad, love blossoms and ripens. This will in turn help you become the best of friends and actually enjoy being together.
In the movies we see one big act of love drawing two people together. But, in reality, it is the constant little things which really have the biggest impact.
What are some of these little things? These things could be a hug, a kind comment, a thoughtful act, a warm smile or even a genuine, ‘How was your day?’
I know a couple who have been married for decades and when asked what little things they do to show the other they care, they said, “we phone or text each other during the day just to see how the other is doing?”
Love is hungry for knowledge. When we love another person, we will never stop wanting to get to know them. The more you learn, the stronger your love will grow.
As the years go by, keep reminding yourself of what it was you first came to love them for.
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Respect helps us to value others. It also assists us in trying hard to understand how another person may be feeling.
At times it can be hard because since birth we have had to show respect to older people such as our parents, or schoolteachers and eventually even our boss. But, with a marriage mate the relationship is more equal!
It could be easy to continue speaking kindly and show respect to our friends and co-workers and difficult to do the same with the one person we actually love and are close to. This is a difficult challenge!
The resolution? Communication. Communication is vital to continuing to show each other respect. Just make sure that when a hot topic, or potentially divisive discussion is needed; do it when both are calm and relaxed. Allow the other to speak without interruption and be kind in your words. Do not add sparks to a forest fire! Instead may our words, patience and kindness be refreshing water, which extinguishes any heat.
Sad to say this quality has lost its hold in marriages. Too many venture off with someone else because they don’t have the willpower to stick to their marriage vows.
Promises have become somewhat of a joke to many, with divorce rates sky-high like never before.
Just because we have a desire, does it mean we must fill it? Some have a desire to kill, so they do. But is that right? No. Some have a desire for another man or woman that’s not their marriage mate and fill that desire by cheating. Is that right? No.
Self-control is vital to a happy marriage because it allows us to focus on the love we promised our mate. It stops us from cheating and being unnecessarily angry. Self-Control gives us the opportunity to show we have high standards of morality, fit for a lasting and happy marriage.
If we can’t keep our promises before we are married, what makes us think we will keep them after it. So all those hoping or thinking about promising their life to another; please, ensure they have a proven track record of keeping their promises. When something goes wrong, really look at how they deal with the issue. Is it with anger and hurtful speech and actions; or with tenderness and respect?
So, make sure we show love in all its splendid ways.
After all, love never fails!